Our church is over an hour away, and we couldn’t make the haul this morning. So we are home, spending the morning relaxing and resting and being grateful to our amazing God for all of His blessings. I’m sipping my coffee with vanilla latte creamer, and Steve’s will be ready for him when he emerges from our epically comfortable canopy bed. Maybe there will be some cool worship music later, but right now I’m enjoying the stillness of Sunday morning.
I finished reading Writing Down the Bones last week and picked up Thunder and Lightning – Cracking Open the Writer’s Craft (both by Natalie Goldberg). Natalie and I are at opposite poles spiritually, but the woman has some pretty awesome ideas on writing. I think I could just go from one of her books to the next, and then start over again and still find things to inspire me as a writer. I’d call that the mark of an effective author.
I had a bit of a struggle yesterday with a discussion that happened at the Haus. It’s just hard when you keep asking the same direct question over and over again, trying to reword it in case you were misunderstood, and you keep getting the same answer over and over that doesn’t answer the question. I love the girls of the Haus so much, and wouldn’t hurt any one of them for the world. I know they are each doing and saying what they feel is right so I’m not criticizing them–just explaining how excruciating it is for me to feel like I did last night. I went to bed more frustrated than I’ve felt in quite a long time. I’m glad that doesn’t happen often. I am deeply grateful for some very dear friends who are helping me sort through it all. They know who they are.
It’s sunny this morning. The Google weather thing says our high is supposed to get to 70, but I’m pretty sure there’s something screwy with how they get their numbers; we never reach the highs they say we’re supposed to reach. At least we have it better than our friends in North Dakota whose high isn’t supposed to quite reach zero. I would just die. Not even kidding.
Life has been much less complicated since my 2011 “Simplify” theme took hold. I stopped tutoring, found a permanent home for the rescue Chihuahua we were fostering, and returned to full-time homeschooling our two remaining teens. I’m focusing on God and home and family and writing. These are pivotal days in our family, and writing helps me to sort through my thoughts and emotions and responses to it all. If Rosie is lucky, she will be out of the house before I hit menopause. Then poor Steve will be the only one who has to live with me through it. I have plenty of Evening Primrose Oil on hand, so hopefully I will be ready when it hits. Steve is the best friend I could ever imagine, so having him here with me is key.
Sometimes Facebook vexes me. It isn’t just the social network, though. It’s both a blessing and a curse to have such constant access to everyone’s daily lives. It did help to whittle my “friends” list from 780 to 328–and I’m still whittling. Simplify.
The truth is, I am not looking forward to no longer having kids in the house. Neither is Steve. And it isn’t because we don’t know each other, don’t have a relationship of our own to hold us up, or any of that hooey. It’s because we love our children more than life and we LIKE them very much and want them around. We haven’t really had “kids” in the house for a while now. They are mature far beyond their years. They are our best friends.