I like the way I love people the moment I meet them.
It makes me positively giddy to meet new people, because each one represents another heart to love on.
This has gotten me into trouble on occasion. Okay, on a lot of occasions, and my family (mostly my kids) look sideways at me whenever I say I’ve made a new friend because they know there exists the distinct possibility (probability, even) that I will be taken advantage of, yet again. I tend to be blissfully ignorant of this potential until the oft-inevitable happens.
Despite momentary setbacks when people turn out to be those who take and never give back in friendship, I heal and move on and reach out again. I guess you could say I’m a glutton for punishment.
But I’m also a naturally-wired lover. I can’t not love.
I will say that the way I love has changed and adapted over the years. I’m getting better at setting sensible boundaries (which was a long time coming–just ask my family), and I find I can pour out love in much healthier ways (for the other and for me) as God has grown me in this area.
Because of this healthy boundary system, I find that I have had to leave some situations with God to handle and let go of them myself. This has gotten easier as I have grown increasingly confident in God to bring beauty from ashes. In one particular case I believe with all my heart it is His to carry and not mine, and I don’t intend to pick it up again. I trust Him to complete His good work and I leave it to Him.
I like the way I love because I can’t imagine living the life of a reclusive cynic. Not that I haven’t been occasionally nudged toward a hermit cave by one injury or another; I just can’t stay there for long. It’s lonely in there.
I’m sadly imperfect, but I do love deeply.
If I’m completely honest, if I were someone else I would long to be my friend.