I live in constant conversation with God. This is something I’ve done for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember what it’s like not being connected with God, and I admit I’m glad I can’t.

This kind of connection makes days like today a little less difficult, days when I’m scared out of my mind for a friend’s health and trying to move through the motions of my day as though I’m not shaking head to toe and silently begging God to make her okay.

Staying in conversation also means the moment I think something I’m saying it to Him. Which can be pretty revealing (and therefore a little scary at times). It means instead of just marveling at the velvety surface of a leaf I naturally tell Him about the discovery and thank Him for creating such cool stuff. It makes for a pretty grateful way to live.

I pray with my eyes open because I’m talking to my constant companion, not taking a nap. I want my prayers to live and breathe along with me every minute and not be separated by “Dear God” and “Amen”.

I rarely say, “Amen.” And when I do, I mean “Let it be” and not “Goodbye”. My Amen is more like a Selah, a pause in the looping playlist between Him and me.

Whatever happens, I fluidly talk to Him about it. He is safe, and He is always there, and He can handle my joys and my aches and my anger and my questions. He is not surprised or appalled or put off by my realness or the fact that I let it all hang out before Him, all the time.

I can always, always run to Him, and because we are stuck like glue I don’t ever have far to go. I like that.

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