jealousyLately I’ve been studying the topic of jealousy, and the stark difference between being jealous of, and jealous for another person.

Jealousy for someone’s best is of God. Jealousy of someone’s best is of the enemy.

My study guide asks if the reader is jealous for someone’s best, and if so, whose? What are the results? The answer I wrote is my husband, Steve. He is an amazing man, and I wish others could know his heart on a deeper level. I’ve been blessed beyond words by his presence in my life, and the people who have told us of the blessing he’s been to them are too numerous to count. There are few people who have met him who have not emerged better for that knowing.

The converse also begs to be answered within the individual heart: Are you jealous of someone’s best? Whose? How is it playing out in your life? What are the results?

Which brings me back to Steve. I’ve seen people’s jealousy of him cause them to treat him in terrible ways. It breaks my heart even now to think back on it. And the worst part is that some of the most mean-spirited things that have been said to him were said by a church elder and a pastor. Instead of allowing themselves to be enriched by this dear man of God, they allowed jealousy to rip apart relationship and stifle growth and benefit. It’s horribly sad, and is made even worse by the lasting effect it has had on Steve in making him wary of getting close to anyone and opening his heart in deep friendship. While I rejoice that his best friends are his family members, I also wonder what kind of blessing he could be in male friendship had he not been scorched by the flames of others’ jealousy.

And you, my friend? Have you been scorched by the flames of jealousy? Were you jealous, or was someone jealous of you?

Have you ever been jealous for someone? Has anyone ever been jealous for you? What did that look like?

Jealousy makes relationship unsafe. A beautiful friend and I were talking recently about this, about how it is difficult if not impossible to “go deep” with someone who regularly feels threatened by your blessings, your accomplishments, your talents and gifts. Putting it out there with someone knowing it will probably only anger them is daunting. Being jealous for someone makes all the difference. It validates and connects.

Can we learn from this? Can we make ourselves and our relationships safe places where others are celebrated in what God is doing in and through them, where we are truly, genuinely delighted for them?

If jealousy of kills, then certainly jealousy for breathes life.

May we all live to breathe life and beauty and encouragement into those around us.



Featured at Write Where It Hurts


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