My husband Steve and I are often asked, in one form or another, “How is it that you have stayed so close in your marriage?” It is a question we take seriously, and to which we respond with hearts humbled by the asking. We know we don’t have it all together. We also know that with God and the bond we share because of Him, we can get through anything.
A friend recently wrote asking me how we have weathered the storms of life for the past 32 years without having it damage our relationship. The answer is actually rather simple.
I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3a)
Bringing that home to the practical, when we got married, we became one flesh. We take that seriously. What happens in our life happens to us, not between us. I am his safe place, and he is mine. Whatever life dishes out, we always know we are not alone.
We are a permanently-woven chord of three strands: God, husband, wife. And we are not easily broken.
I don’t get to make the call on my own body without his okay, and the same applies to him. We respect one another completely and recognize that we each belong to the other. That simple principle affects everything we say and do. Everything.
We don’t argue, because who argues with him/herself? Don’t misunderstand—it doesn’t mean we never disagree. We are one flesh figuratively, but in reality we are still two individual souls woven together, with two separate wills that must work in harmony.
A secondary principle that accompanies “one flesh” is that I am 100% for him, and he is 100% for me. Translated, we are both covered, always.
We are human, and we falter sometimes. In moments of humanness I am selfish. But the beautiful thing is that I’m covered, because he is for me. And the same applies with the shoe on the other foot (although I will say he is selfish less often). The point is if our focus is always off self and on the other, it will always be a game-changer.
Knowing God and Steve are for me always impacts my response to hardship. It doesn’t occur to me to blame either of them because I dwell in their love.
Life can be hard. When it is, I don’t have to run to God because He is already right there with me, dwelling with me always in Spirit. And because of the way He designed marriage, I have a soul-mate into whose arms I know I can always find shelter. Because we are for each other, neither of us has far to run to find safety.
God dwells with us as we live out the purpose of His plan for marriage. We aren’t perfect, but we are perfect for each other.
I invite you to love selflessly and dwell in safety. Always.
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