priusIt’s the last day of 2012. The very last day. I hope it’s okay that I am breathing a sigh of relief that this year is over and 2013 is less than one giant sleep for mankind away.

My favorite number is 13. It’s a number held by many in disdain or fear, and maybe that’s one of the reasons I’ve always loved it: the rebel in me peeking through or something like that. Besides, it’s our wedding anniversary date.

Yesterday at church the speaker said, “Everyone turn to the person next to you and say, “2013 is YOUR year!” Murmurs spread throughout the spacious auditorium as attendees chuckled their greetings to friends and strangers alike. Deep down I was praying the statement would prove true for me. For us.

This has been a tough year in many ways, but the truth is that rather than being a bad year I would say it’s been a year of transition. The year before was particularly difficult, to the tune of over $3,000. in car repair costs, so it makes sense to be grateful for the improvement this past year has been. And I am.

Transition. About mid-year we balanced our household budget for the first time in many years. The peace of mind and removal of stress-weight from our shoulders can’t be quantified. We still had to struggle for a while longer while we worked through vehicle issues, but just before Christmas we were blessed with the opportunity to purchase a beautiful car. As a result, we will drive into 2013 without the fear of constant car repairs looming over our heads.

I want to say that through the struggle I held my head up and sang praises and winked heavenward with whispers of, “God, I know you’ve got this.” While ultimately that’s pretty characteristic of my relationship with God, I confess I haven’t always been so demonstrably faith-filled. Not that I lost faith, mind you, but I did cry out to God on occasion and beg Him to remind me that it was all going to be okay.

And it is okay. It’s also okay to rush into God’s arms and ask for reassurance when we need it. I doubt our momentary panic and insecurity will surprise the One who knit us together and sustains our every breath. He’s not astonished by our humanness, He who sent His only Son as a tiny human to be one of us for a time. His Son cried out, and so can we.

Have you worried that maybe He wouldn’t be happy with you if you questioned Him? If you reached up hoping for a gentle squeeze of your hand just to “be sure of Him”? If you wept your confusion and fear into His chest and begged Him to hold you close?

Never hesitate to run to Him, friend. He chases hard after His children, and He is waiting. Right now, on this final day of a hard year. Go ahead. Reach up.



Featured at Write Where It Hurts


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