My friend, Debbie died Saturday. Cancer took her life not long after her 40th birthday. I can’t talk about cancer. I can’t talk about death. I can’t face it. I should be able to, but I can’t. Something happened to me the day Joyce died. Something vital in me left with her. I think it was my ability to face serious illness head-on. Maybe one day I’ll be able to.
But today, I can’t.
I love the “look” of this site…the blue captures the “me” in me somehow. Tonight I am a mixture of emotions…deep contemplation mixed with annoyance, anxiety, curiosity, stress, fatigue, and (oddly enough) hope.
I find it almost intriguing, the thought of maintaining a public blog. I mean, I’m writing four or five books at once, and if I put everything here, what will that mean for the books that should hold it all? Perhaps here I can flesh out the myriad ideas so they’ll make sense as I “massage” them into some kind of sensible book form…?
I have many words tonight but sadly not much energy, so this entry will be brief. Hopefully the ones to come will be more in-depth…or at least be worth the few moments it takes to read them.