Once again I’ve been stirred to response by another blog post. I hesitate to link to it because I don’t want this to come across as combative or a one-up. I just felt like I couldn’t not respond to the idea that the Song of Solomon isn’t an ideal to which we as wives should aspire. My comment on the post looked a bit like a blog post of its own, so in that spirit I share it here. A few details have been added since I posted it as a comment.
I think sometimes I’m just too simplistic. Meaning I don’t see the benefit of digging our heels into the scar tissue of old abuses and refusing to see past them. I was molested as a child. I was date-pressured into sex at 15 and lost my virginity in the back of a Pinto station wagon. I was 16 and pregnant before it was cool enough for a reality show.
By God’s grace I have moved on and refuse to allow myself to remain bogged down in the Roach Motel of anger and bitterness and revenge. I refuse to allow that painful past to rob me of seeing myself as beautiful to my husband, who calls me “smoking hot” all the time without offending me because I know his heart and it is for me.
Interestingly, in a conversation with my 17YO daughter about whether Song of Solomon is worthy of emulation, her response was, “I see every book of the Bible as having been put there by God for a purpose, and I don’t believe any book is one God hopes we just kind of overlook.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
If we are going to start dismissing entire books of the Bible (or even large portions of it) because it doesn’t fit with where we are in our healing process, we may as well toss out everything David said or did that can be used for our good. It’s easy to see how that could get out of hand quickly. To dismiss Solomon’s words entirely would be a great loss to us all.
Do I feel for women still deep in the healing process, who don’t see themselves as “smoking hot” (maybe can’t even imagine themselves ever feeling like that)? Absolutely. That was me, but that was then and I’m glad I didn’t stay there. I’m glad I didn’t dismiss the notion of ever reaching this place of healing where my husband can quote SoS to me and have it warm my heart (and my cheeks).
Please hear my heart–I don’t mean to offend. I simply implore anyone sharing on this topic to invite women to heal beyond that place of stagnation, that place where we can’t see ourselves blushing at being told our breasts are are like twin fawns of a gazelle. By the grace of God we CAN heal to that place where we joy in “I am my beloved’s, and he is mine”.
I believe it is God’s desire for us as wives to hold onto hope, to refuse to dig into our past as a place of permanent pain. I see His heart for us as refusing to let the Enemy steal that beauty and joy from us, from our husbands, from our marriage.
He makes all things new.