Simple

calm

“One day I will find the right words and they will be simple.”
Jack Kerouac

These days, they are anything but simple. They are complicated, complex, wrought with conflicting opinion and stand-taking and assertion. I am tired.

I long for calmer moments, of rainy afternoons and dark clouds gathered and thunder like the rumbling of a distant train.

Things are about to become much less quiet in my life as I start work as a TA and simultaneously begin work on my B.S. in Ed Studies full time online. This will be far from simple, but I need rest soul-deep if I have any hope of getting through the next two years.

I want the election to be over. Whatever we are going to wind up with for leadership I just want it done so (hopefully) the arguing and judgment will stop. If it doesn’t stop, then social media will not be seeing much of me. I need to focus in a positive direction.

I long for quietness, for lightness of being, for peace. I long for moments spent holding my husband’s hand or playing Little People with my grandchildren or making dinner for my big, beautiful family. I need to pull inward, to beckon my heart back home. Only then can I pour myself out the way God calls me to do as a wife, a mother, a Mimi, a teacher, a friend.

I am praying for renewal of purpose. For all of us.

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Post-Term Musing

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This won’t be one you’ll want to share, so the pressure’s off. Just relax and read, if you’ve got a minute.

Last week I finished my first year of college. In some ways it seems too short a time to have finished two full semesters, but when I think of the work that went into it, it seems like longer. But anyway, it’s over. I’m taking the summer off to focus on studying for (and taking) my GK test for teaching, and also to study ahead for my fall statistics class.

True to form, as soon as I sat down at my desk to write, everything I’d been ruminating over flew out of my head. I even cleaned my office this morning so I’d feel more creative, and I’m burning scented candles and listening to soft piano music for inspiration. Moonlight Sonata don’t fail me now…

It has felt strange over the past week not having thoughts of homework and tests and assignments and workshops and deadlines crowding my brain. It’s a good kind of strange, but it has me a little off-balance. In many ways, as crazy as it sounds, I think I actually miss the routine of school. It keeps me alert, focused, purposeful. I admit it is nice to have a few minutes to clean the kitchen. I’m sure my honey will agree.

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I’m going to miss Dr. Cohen. I love her dearly and will always be grateful for the way she pulled for me and helped me to believe I could actually do math.

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I’m sad I won’t have her for statistics, but I am happy I could have her for my first two college math classes.

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I’m also going to miss Dr. Haber. I was blessed to have her for Comp I and World Lit 2. She sharpened my writing and made her classes interesting and challenging and enjoyable. I love her.

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The art show for my biology class was a big hit. It was the culmination of our Dali and DNA study funded by an Innovations grant, with 40+ exhibitors showing a variety of artistic pieces. It was great fun, and I learned a lot about both Dali and DNA. Dr. Delgato made the whole thing an amazing endeavor, and I am delighted that we get her again next semester for our next biology class.

The college experience has been great for the most part. The not-so-great parts will hopefully work themselves out for the best in the end. I am loving the experience.