These are busy days, but they are filled with renewal and awareness and purpose. Final assignments and exams for spring semester will be finished this week and a new semester in my education program starts mid-May, just before my teaching year ends. I’m finding my groove with work, school, and ministry involvement I love.
One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself was the Freedom class that culminated with the Freedom Encounter this past weekend at Grace. I’m not sure what I expected from the class, but I can assure you that I can’t capture the enormity of what actually did happen in my heart and mind. Some things defy words. I confess I have been hesitant to try to write out the jumble of thoughts darting through my head over the past three days. I have been fervently praying for God to reveal to me all that He wants for me, and I trust Him to do just that.
I was prayed over by two beautiful women of God during the Encounter. Daphne and Natalie prayed and spoke words of encouragement and direction over me, after which I couldn’t wait to get back to my seat to jot it all down in my notebook. So while this is all very hard to word, I have a Freedom notebook jam-packed with words that have been shared with me over the past nine weeks. I will be spending the next several days, weeks, and months unpacking the teachings shared by Kristin, Chris, Scott, and Jerry. Their wisdom has made a profound impact that will be a gift I open slowly and continually.
I want to be an invitation rather than an opinion. I want to welcome and not repel. I want to live fully into God’s purpose for me rather than shrinking back and accepting the lie that I am washed up, that my time was then and this is now and I have nothing to offer. I want to learn from what God revealed to my heart–that I am capable of loving and healthy friendship when I focus on Him and His Word, and that words of negativity spoken over me in the past need to be left there.
I want to walk forward in forgiveness and gratitude and compassion. I want to be unafraid to do what I am equipped and called to do. I want to love freely and wisely. I want to encourage others and take gentle care of me. I want to follow God’s lead with humility and grace, focused on His will for me. I want to lead by relationship and follow with respect. In all these things, I trust God to guide me.
I have camped out in the Psalms today, calling out with the Psalmists for God’s hand on my life and the blessing of dwelling in His house forever. I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. (Ps. 27:13) For much in this life, I must wait. But not this. I will see His goodness in the here and now if I look for it. And believe me, I am looking.